Forget About Rudolph

December 20th, 2024 Newsletter Archives

Just a few days frow now, Santa Claus will hitch up the reindeer and commence toy delivery to children all over the word. If you were extra good, maybe Santa will bring you an Equinox EV. Or a Corvette.

Just how the bearded one is supposed to visit all 2.3 billion children around the world in one night isn’t really my concern; the guy is apparently just great at logistics. I hear he’s now AI enabled. Anyway, imagine how much more efficient he could be with an electric-powered, Super Cruise capable GM e-sled. (If I tell you any more about that project, I’ll end up on the GM naughty list.) Suffice to say, it would be the personification of what the classic song by the Hollyberries calls “Santa’s Supersonic Flying Rocket Sled.”

There would be no need to deal with cranky reindeer and the, uh, reindeer mess they tend to leave in their wake. Using Super Cruise, Santa could take his hands off the reins to consult his nice and naughty map, with detailed charger locations. And if Santa got lost – that’s hard to imagine, the big guy has been at this for a long time now – he could hit the blue OnStar button, and one of GM’s navigation elves would cheerily send him turn-by-turn directions.

Speaking of OnStar, on Christmas Eve you’ll be able to use the service to track Santa’s progress – and through December 24, you can push the button and chat with the jolly old elf himself, and ask him for a GMC Hummer EV, or a Cadillac Celestiq. You might end up with some new socks instead. But it doesn’t hurt to ask.

– Eric J. Savitz, editor-in-chief, GM News

P.S.: Our little newsletter is taking a couple of weeks off for the holidays. See you in 2025.